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Simon Farnaby as "Death"

Stupid Deaths is a recurring sketch in the Horrible Histories 2009-2013 TV series. It features historical figures explaining the circumstances of their death to the Death (portrayed by Simon Farnaby), who then decides if they can enter the afterlife.

Theme Song Edit

"Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, they’re funny cause they’re true, woo. Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, Hope next time it’s not you! (Hoo hoo!)"

HistoryEdit

Series 1Edit

Francis Bacon Edit

  • Year of Death: 1626
  • Occupation: Philosopher
  • Method of Death: Froze to death while freezing a dead chicken. 

Matthew WebbEdit

  • Year of Death: 1883
  • Occupation: Famed swimmer
  • Method of Death: Died at Niagara Falls, during one of his stunts.  

Franz ReicheltEdit

  • Year of Death: 1912
  • Occupation: Glue sniffer, inventor, & parachuting pioneer
  • Method of Death: Fell to death, while testing one of his parachutes. 

Edmund IIEdit

  • Year of Death: 1016
  • Occupation: King of England
  • Method of Death: Stabbed in the bottom by a Viking, who hid in a pit where Edmund was doing his business. 

The Saxon King (portrayed by Jim Howick) tells of his famous death where he learns Vikings will stab you in the behind while doing your business!

General PausaniasEdit

  • Year of Death: 470 BC
  • Occupation: Spartan regent, general, & war leader for the Greeks
  • Method of Death: Starved to death while trapped in the House of Pancakes, surrounded by Spartans. 

It also features Measly Middle Ages: The gory Middle Ages, which results in the Death Monster threatening to quit.

AeschylusEdit

  • Year of Death: 456 BC
  • Occupation: Playwright & soldier
  • Method of Death: Killed by a tortoise, that an eagle dropped on his head.

Sigurd the MightyEdit

  • Year of Death: 892
  • Occupation: Earl of Orkney
  • Method of Death: Died of wound infection when his leg was bitten by the teeth of a severed head.  

Series 2Edit

Bobby LeachEdit

  • Year of Death: 1926
  • Occupation: Famed Swimmer
  • Method of Death: While on a publicity tour in New Zealand, Leach injured his leg when he slipped on an orange peel, and he later died of gangrene.

Victorian Niagara Falls daredevil (portrayed by Jim Howick) tells of his stupid death, which wasn’t as heroic as his work.

HeraclitusEdit

  • Year of Death: 475 BC
  • Occupation: Philosopher
  • Method of Death: Died of heat exhaustion while buried under a mountain of cow dung. 

Tudor EntertainerEdit

  • Year of Death: 1540
  • Occupation: Entertainer
  • Method of Death: Stabbed himself whilst unprepared for an act.

Humphrey de BohunEdit

  • Year of Death: 1322
  • Occupation: Knight
  • Method of Death: Stabbed in the bottom by a pike under a bridge.

Clement VallandighamEdit

  • Year of Death: 1871
  • Occupation: Politician
  • Method of Death: Accidentally shot himself with his own pistol, while representing a defendant. 

Arthur AstonEdit

  • Year of Death: 1649
  • Occupation: Army officer
  • Method of Death: Beaten to death, by Parliamentarian soldiers, with his own wooden leg.

World War II BusinessmanEdit

  • Year of Death: 1940
  • Occupation: Businessman
  • Method of Death: Stepped off a train during the blackout before it had reached his station and fell to his death from a bridge.

DracoEdit

  • Year of Death: 600 BC
  • Occupation: Lawmaker
  • Method of Death: Suffocated by a mountain of hats and cloaks, caused by a Greek audience. 

The Greek Lawmaker, although cruel, was a bit too loved by a Greek audience!

Diodorus the HunchbackEdit

  • Year of Death: 200 BC
  • Occupation: Philosopher  
  • Method of Death: Died when a doctor straightened his hunchback, with three large stones on his back.  

Series 3Edit

Greek BoxerEdit

  • Year of Death: Unknown
  • Occupation: Boxer
  • Method of Death: Crushed to death by a falling statue of his rival boxer, Theagenes of Thasos. 

An unnamed contemporary of famous Greek boxer Theagenes of Thasos beats off his rival until he topples over onto him.

James II of ScotlandEdit

  • Year of Death: 1460
  • Occupation: King of Scots
  • Method of Death: Accidentally had his leg blown off, by a misfired cannon, known as "The Lion". 

Knights TemplarEdit

  • Year of Death: 1187
  • Occupation: Crusaders 
  • Method of Death: While sneaking into an Arab camp, one of the Knights accidentally fell into a pit & drowned in poo. The rest were then killed by the awakened Arabs.  

Gruffydd Ap LlywelynEdit

  • Year of Death: 1244
  • Occupation: Prince of Wales
  • Method of Death: Fell to his death when attempting to escape using bedsheets. 

Griffith tells what happened when he was escaping from the Tower of London.

Countess of CoventryEdit

  • Year of Death: 1760
  • Occupation: Irish beauty & London society hostess
  • Method of Death: Died of lead poisoning, by her own white lead beauty make-up.

Kitty Fisher Edit

  • Year of Death: 1767
  • Occupation: Courtesan
  • Method of Death: Died of lead poisoning, by her own white lead beauty make-up.

MoliereEdit

  • Year of Death: 1673
  • Occupation: Playwright & actor
  • Method of Death: Coughed to death, on-stage, while pretending to be a sick person. 

Henry I Edit

  • Year of Death: 1135
  • Occupation: King of England
  • Method of Death: Died of diarrhea as the result of taking a laxative intended to treat his indigestion after too many lampreys. 

Henry I (portrayed by Mathew Baynton) is made fatally ill by a meal of eels.

Milo of CrotonEdit

  • Year of Death: Unknown
  • Occupation: Wrestler
  • Method of Death: He was attempting to tear a tree apart when his hands became trapped in a crevice in its trunk, and a pack of wolves devoured him. 

The famous Greek strongman (portrayed by Laurence Rickard) learns that brawn doesn’t always beat the brain, & Death starts to get the hang of Sudoku puzzles.

Series 4Edit

Tudor ArchersEdit

  • Year of Death: Tudor Era
  • Occupation: Archers
  • Method of Death #1: The first archer shouted to him, "I bet you can't hit my hat!", so the rival archer attempted the challenge and missed, and shot him in the head.
  • Method of Death #2: The second archer shot one of his arrows, into the sky, he went to check where the arrow landed, and the arrow came down and landed into the top of the poor archer's head

Gyrth & Leofwine (King Harold's brothers) Edit

  • Year of Death: 1066
  • Occupation: King Harold II's brothers
  • Method of Death: Both died in the Battle of Hastings, and ironically ended the Saxon Era.

Hannah TwynnoyEdit

  • Year of Death: 1703
  • Occupation: Barmaid
  • Method of Death: Killed by a tiger, as a result of bothering it. 

Richard the RakerEdit

  • Year of Death: 1326
  • Occupation: Cesspit emptier
  • Method of Death: Fell into his own cesspit & drowned in his own poo, during his day-off, from his job of gong-farming (poop-scooping). 

Richard the LionheartEdit

  • Year of Death: 1199
  • Occupation: King of England
  • Method of Death: Died of gangrene after a small boy shot him in the arm with an arrow. The king was distracted by an enemy soldier smashing away arrows with a frying pan. 

King Richard I of England tells his Stupid Death caused by the most simple mistake! Richard asked his knights to pardon the little boy, but Death learns that this did not happen when the boy sidles on scene after the king has left.

PythagorasEdit

  • Year of Death: 495 BC
  • Occupation: Philosopher & Mathematician
  • Method of Death: Was killed by some rivals after refusing to run into a bean field, since touching beans was against his religion. 

The Greek mathematician equates that being chased by assassins & running into bean fields don’t end well!

Robert CockingEdit

  • Year of Death: 1837
  • Occupation: Watercolor artist
  • Method of Death: Died in a parachute accident. 

Series 5Edit

Arthur John PriestEdit

  • Episode2
  • Era: Troublesome 20th Century
  • Year of Death: 1937 (Ironically, the year of his death isn't shown anywhere on his pajamas.)
  • Occupation: Fireman, stoker, & survivor of various shipwrecks since the sinking of the RMS Titanic
  • Method of Death: Died in bed from pneumonia. 

He was refused entry into the afterlife, as the Grim Reaper considered Priest's (portrayed by Jim Howick) death in bed too boring, & not stupid enough.

Ivan the TerribleEdit

  • Year of Death: 1584
  • Occupation: Tsar of Russia
  • Method of Death: Died of a heart attack during a game of chess. 

It doesn't seem to give full detail about his death. 

Madame BlanchardEdit

  • Year of Death: 1819
  • Occupation: Aeronaut & the wife of ballooning pioneer Jean-Pierre Blanchard
  • Method of Death: During an exhibition, she launched fireworks that ignited the gas in her balloon; her craft crashed on the roof of a house & she fell to her death.

Hans SteiningerEdit

  • Year of Death: 1567
  • Occupation: Burgomaster of Braunau
  • Method of Death: Died when he broke his neck tripping over his own beard during a fire exit.

Diane de PoitiersEdit

  • Year of Death: 1566
  • Occupation: Noblewoman & a prominent courtier
  • Method of Death: Died from metal poisoning as a result of consuming too much gold leaf, which is highly poisonous. 

Emperor DomitianEdit

  • Year of Death: 96 AD
  • Occupation: Roman emperor
  • Method of Death: Assassinated in the baths as a result of being deceived. 

Pliny the ElderEdit

  • Year of Death: 79 AD
  • Occupation: Lawyer, author, natural philosopher, naturalist, military commander, & provincial governor
  • Method of Death: Died in a rescue attempt during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. 

John of BohemiaEdit

  • Year of Death: 1346
  • Occupation: King of Bohemia
  • Method of Death: Killed in the Battle of Crecy when his companions tied their horses' reins to his own & charged-he was slaughtered in the ensuing fight.

NotesEdit

  • Stupid Deaths had only three females for Gorgeous Georgians, all of whom were portrayed by Martha Howe-Douglas.
  • When Stupid Deaths started in Series 1, it first resembled an airport check-in, but from Series 2 onwards, it looks like a talent show deriving from Britain's Got Talent.
  • From series 6, Stupid Deaths was replaced with Chatty Deaths.

See Also Edit

quotes

oh shut up louie.

and who might you be Captain stinky of the stinky people?

oh you're dead funny

whatever

your through to after life

External LinksEdit

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