Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 2
Season Three, Episode Two
Series 3, episode 2 image
Air date 31 May 2011
Written by Dave Cohen, Susie Donkin, Giles Pilbrow, Laurence Rickard, & Ben Ward
Episode guide
Episode 1
Episode 3

Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 2 was the 28th episode of Horrible Histories, having first aired on the 31st of May, 2011, on the CBBC.

This episode includes discovering the most disgusting way to attack a castle, the Saxons demonstrating the stupidest way to lose a battle, a Georgian going shopping in a modern pet shop, & the kings & queens of England demonstrating how to remember them all, through the power of song.

Sketches Edit

Nasty Knights Edit

Invading a Castle Edit

A raiding party can either overcome a series of incredibly dangerous obstacles to get into a castle–or they can do it the hard way.

The Siege Forecast Edit

Slimy Stuarts Edit

Historical Masterchef Edit

Stuart Lady Edit

A Stuart Lady (portrayed by Martha Howe-Douglas) thinks she can pull it off with whale phlegm & a pineapple.

Having tea with Walter Raleigh’s severed head Edit

A dinner party is made awkward by Walter Raleigh’s severed head.

Groovy Greeks Edit

Stupid Deaths Edit

Greek boxer Edit

Words We Get From History Edit

Words We Get From The Greeks Edit
  • Comedy

Gorgeous Georgians Edit

Historical Pet Shop Edit

Smuggling lace in a goose’s crop.

True or False Edit

At one Georgian fair, a wild bull was turned loose with fireworks tied all over it.

John Joseph Merlin’s Roller Skates Edit

Inventor John Joseph Merlin belatedly discovers a few key design flaws while filming an advertisement for the first practical roller skates.

Smashing Saxons Edit

HHTV News Edit

The Battle of Maldon Edit

Mike Peabody reports live from the Battle of Maldon.

Monk Magazine Edit

All the ‘modern’ monk needs to know.

Vile Victorians Edit

First ever public flushing toilet Edit

Opening the first public toilet in more ways than one.

Alfred Nobel Edit

The strange story behind the establishment of Alfred Nobel’s Peace Prize.

Ruthless Rulers Edit

Song Edit

Main article: The Monarchs' Song

Cast Edit

Nasty Knights Slimy Stuarts Groovy Greeks Gorgeous Georgians Smashing Saxons Vile Victorians Ruthless Rulers
Invading a castle The Siege Forecast Historical Masterchef Having tea with Walter Raleigh’s severed head Stupid Deaths Words We Get From History Historical Pet Shop John Joseph Merlin’s Roller Skates HHTV News Monk Magazine First ever public flushing toilet Alfred Nobel Song
Mathew Baynton x x x x x x
Simon Farnaby x x x x x
Martha Howe-Douglas x x x x x x x
Jim Howick x x x x x
Laurence Rickard x x x
Ben Willbond x x x x x x
Susie Donkin
Lawry Lewin
Alice Lowe x
Dominique Moore
Rhashan Stone
Giles Terera
Katy Wix
David Baddiel
Terry Deary
Tanni Grey-Thompson
Rattus Rattus (voiced by John Eccleston)
Jon Culshaw
Jess Robinson
Dave Lamb


External LinksEdit