Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 1
Season Three, Episode One
Series 3 ep1
Air date 30 May 2011
Written by Dave Cohen, Rosanna Lowe, Giles Pilbrow, Laurence Rickard, Colin Swash, & Ben Ward
Episode guide
Series 2, Episode 13
Episode 2

Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 1 was the 27th episode of Horrible Histories, having first aired on the 30th of May, 2011, on the CBBC.

This episode includes an annoying French prankster from the Middle Ages, bizarre Aztec food on Historical MasterChef, what happens when Queen Elizabeth I needs the toilet, & how not to impress a woman in Victorian times.

Sketches Edit

Rotten Romans Edit

Qualifying for a Roman triumph Edit

A general will go to any lengths to qualify for the Roman triumph.

Roman aBook Edit

Introducing the new aBook (parody of Apple advertisements).

Fabulous French Edit

You’ve Been Artois’d! Edit

A prankster count sets up his own reality show, “You’ve Been Artois’d!” (parody of Punk’d).

Terrible Tudors Edit

Tudor gong farming Edit

A gong farmer tries to convince his son to follow in his footsteps.

Elizabeth I arrives at a noble’s home to stay Edit

Elizabeth I unexpectedly arrives at a noble’s home to stay.

Angry Aztecs Edit

Historical Masterchef Edit

Aztec cooking Edit

Dog steak & pond scum biscuits are on the menu! (parody of Masterchef)

Howler Monkeys (Animated) Edit

Howler monkeys realize why they’re a favorite hunting target.

Gorgeous Georgians Edit

Newgate Prison Edit

Pay your way to luxury in Newgate Prison (parody of Premier Inn advertisements).

Song Edit

Main article: Dick Turpin, Highwayman

One of the most ruthless highwaymen has one of the most ridiculous endings.

Vicious Vikings Edit

Words We Get From History Edit

Even More Words We Get From The Vikings Edit

Historical Paramedics Edit

Viking paramedics Edit

Dealing with a cycling injury using runic symbols.

Vile Victorians Edit

Polite Victorian picnic Edit

A picnicking couple has a less-than-polite debate over etiquette.

Victorian Floral Messaging Service Edit

Another couple works out their differences via the floral messaging system.

Frightful First World War Edit

Battle of the Somme campaign Edit

The less-than-encouraging results of the Somme campaign.


Fabulous Fat King's Fat Factory Edit

Fabulous Fat King’s Fat Factory, for all your (surprisingly extensive) wartime fat needs.


Rotten Romans Fabulous French Terrible Tudors Angry Aztecs Gorgeous Georgians Vicious Vikings Vile Victorians Frightful First World War
Qualifying for a Roman triumph Roman aBook You’ve Been Artois’d! Tudor gong farming Elizabeth I arrives at a noble’s home to stay Historical Masterchef Howler Monkeys Newgate Prison Song Words We Get From History Historical Paramedics Polite Victorian picnic Victorian Floral Messaging Service Battle of the Somme campaign Fabulous Fat King's Fat Factory
Mathew Baynton x x x x x x
Simon Farnaby x x x x x
Martha Howe-Douglas x x x x x
Jim Howick x x x x x x x
Laurence Rickard x x
Ben Willbond x x x x
Susie Donkin
Lawry Lewin
Alice Lowe x x
Dominique Moore
Rhashan Stone
Giles Terera
Katy Wix
David Baddiel
Terry Deary
Tanni Grey-Thompson
Rattus Rattus (voiced by John Eccleston)
Jon Culshaw
Jess Robinson
Dave Lamb


External LinksEdit