Horrible Histories - Series 1, Episode 1
Season One, Episode One
Horrible histories ep1
Air date 16 April 2009
Written by * Lucy Clarke
  • Dave Cohen
  • Susie Donkin
Directed by * Steve Connelly
  • Chloe Thomas
Episode guide
Episode 2

Horrible Histories Series 1, Episode 1 was the first Horrible Histories TV series episode and first aired on 16th April 2009 on the CBBC. This episode includes a pirate captain worrying about an early bedtime, a soldier from World War I struggling to cook with fake food, and the four King Georges forming a boy band.


Rotten RomansEdit

The pre-gladiatorial custom of staging fights at funerals

Imagine SpotEdit

Roman Gladiators Secondary schoolEdit

High school for aspiring gladiators

Frightful First World WarEdit

Lice wars (partly animated)

True or False Edit

If soldiers in the trenches were caught in a poisonous gas attack, they used to wee on their handkerchief & put it over their nose & mouth.

Ready Steady FeastEdit

German WWI Solider (Ersatz Food)Edit

German wartime food substitutes

Putrid PiratesEdit

The Black SpotEdit

Pirate RulesEdit

Captain Black Bart lists off his rules to the new recruits

Quiz Question Edit

What did Captain Ned Low do to the captain of a captured whaling ship?

a. Maroon him

b. Cut off his ears (Correct answer)

c. Make him walk the plank

Savage Stone AgeEdit


Stone Age Tool SetEdit

Quiz Question Edit

Cavemen used stones as tools, but what did they use for toilet paper?

a. Moss (Correct answer)

b. Deerskin

c. Hedgehog skin

The funeral of a tribal chiefEdit

The (not-so-)carefully reconstructed funeral of a tribal chief

Vicious VikingsEdit

Video GamesEdit

Warrior! Viking vs MonkEdit

Historical HairdressersEdit

Viking Warrior (Ear spoons)Edit

Gorgeous GeorgiansEdit

Twisted FairytalesEdit

The Three Little Pigs (window tax)Edit

How to vote in Georgian electionsEdit


The 4 Georges: Born 2 RuleEdit
Main article: The 4 Georges: Born 2 Rule

A boyband parody


Rotten Romans Frightful First World War Putrid Pirates Savage Stone Age Vicious Vikings Gorgeous Georgians
Pre-gladiatorial custom Imagine Spot Lice Wars Ready Steady Feast The Black Spot Pirate Rules Advertisement Chief Funeral Video Game Historical Hairdressers Twisted Fairytales Georgian Elections Song

Mathew Baynton

x x x x x x x

Simon Farnaby

x x
Sarah Hadland
Martha Howe-Douglas x
Jim Howick x x x x
Laurence Rickard x
Ben Willbond x x x x x x x
Lisa Devlin
Susie Donkin
Javone Prince
Steve Punt
George Sawyer
Giles Terera
Katy Wix
Terry Deary
Meera Syal x
Rattus Rattus (voiced by John Eccleston)
Jon Culshaw
Jess Robinson

Notes Edit

External Links Edit