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Dick Turpin, Highwayman is a song from the Horrible Histories TV series. It aired in Series 3, Episode 1 on May 30, 2011, and later in the Savage Songs Special. It parodies the song "Stand and Deliver" by Adam and The Ants.

In the song, the pedantic Dick Turpin sings about his life and crimes, including his rather surprising ending!

This was filmed at Osterley Park, in Hounslow, London and Chiltern Open Air Museum.

Lyrics[]

Horrible_Histories_Songs_-_Dick_Turpin_-_CBBC

Horrible Histories Songs - Dick Turpin - CBBC

Dick: Everyone thinks they know the story
Of Dick Turpin’s highway glory
But my past was far more gory -
Was no saint

You think life is one big antic
My profession is romantic
Hate to be pedantic
But it ain’t

Gang: HUH!

Dick: As a butcher down in Essex I was handy with a knife
Had a sideline as a poacher, led a less than honest life

The notorious gang of Gregory liked my style and dedication
They signed me up and gave me a real robber’s education

We rampaged through the Essex farms, we stole and robbed and fought
But when the law came for us I escaped and they got caught!

I became a highwayman
Was daylight robbery

Gang: HUH!

Dick: I was no prince charming
Nothing dandy about me!

Gang: HUH!

Dick: The truth is, I was violent and with my good mate, Matt King
Robbed travelers at gunpoint – money, watches, anything!

My horse wasn’t called Black Bess - although that’s what you’ve read
Was no romantic hero, shot not one but two men dead!

The legend that surrounds me misses out the crucial part:
I was a ruthless killer with a ruthless killer’s heart!

Was a vicious highwayman
A source of pain and tears

Gang: HUH!

Dick: When you hear how my story ends
You won’t believe your ears!

Gang: HUH!

Dick: I ran away to Yorkshire, changed my name to John Palmer
Was sent to prison after stealing chickens from a farmer

Wrote a letter to my family, a plea it did relate
The postman saw the envelope and here’s the twist of fate:

He had taught me how to write, so he’d knew I’d lied
"That’s not John Palmer’s hand – that’s Dick Turpin’s!” he cried!

Was a vicious highwayman
My crimes had brought me fame

Gang: HUH!

Dick: Was stitched up by a postie
That’s not glamorous
That’s lame!

Gang: HUH!

Dick: No more stand and deliver
You’ll remember this, I hope

Gang: HUH!

Dick: It’s no fun hanging with highwaymen
When you’re… Hanging from a rope!

Cast[]

Notes[]

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